


Mr. Aesop

by Cloudstrel_z0rnator



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: AU Marvel, Alt Character Interpretations, Antagonist Protagonist, Dont take me too seriously, Gen, Insert, Probably not well written, Protagonist Antagonists, Swearing, Very rough writing, Violent, rob - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 13:47:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10595247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudstrel_z0rnator/pseuds/Cloudstrel_z0rnator
Summary: Some random comic fan is sent to a Marvel universe by some sorta evil God?"Superheroes today aren't getting any taste of danger nowadays" It said"So who else to send other than someone who knows them inside out? And quite literally judging by your search history too, heh.""I'd rather not get judged by some kind of wish-fulfillment, fanfic God. Besides, what am I gonna do to people who can bench press cars?""Heh, leave that to me. After all, I'm a wish-fulfillment, fanfic god, aren't I?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just decided to write this because I had nothing else to do. No planning or anything, so this'll just be my little pet project. Don't expect anything (not that I expect you to expect anything) because I don't. :/

Diet Coke or just a normal one?  
I didn't really have a need to watch my weight but wouldn't Diet Coke be better for my health in general? But why bother drinking Coke if you wanted to stay healthy? The flavor is so artificial and sweet why would anyone even drink it? It poisons your tongue and makes your body's slow death go by faster but wouldn't that be good? A faster demise and release from this world where he would never amount to anything even semi-important to mankind or even a single person?

 

"...Maybe some water then?"  
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

*pshssst*  
I took a gulp from the coke and started the walk back from the grocery store. Maaan, I hope that those comics finished downloading when I get back. People online kept recommending Spider-Gwen and I eventually caved in but I hadn't downloaded it all just in case my instincts were right and it was gimmicky, mainstream crap. Thankfully,-well, sadly for my shit internet- it was pretty good for a light read, though the characters didn't seem very faithful to the 61-  
"Ah, damn it"  
My thoughts were interrupted by some girl dropping her phone in the middle of the street. She kneeled to pick it up but I saw a car approaching on the narrow street. My brain went on instinct and I ran to push her out the way, spilling my coke on myself in the process  
"Hey! What the hell?!" she said in a shrill voice as he shoved her away  
He ignored her and turned to pre-

...to see it already stopped by the time he reached her

"Yo, did you see that dumbass, bruh?"  
"Yea, def putting that in my epic fail comp, lol"  
"U got it on camera?!"

Fuck this, I threw my hood on and stalked away, tail between my legs and ignoring anything they said.  
===============  
Gawdaaaaamm. That was fucking embarrassing. In this day and age it might even get viral! Shit I hoped I wouldn't have to see myself in cringe compilations. Imagine feeling superior towards some fuckheads dumping ice water on themselves or cutting their fingers off with 1000 degree knives or whatever then seeing yourself try to fucking re-enact KonoSuba and just pussyfoot away like a shookt bitch.

"Grrrrrrrrrr, screw this noise, I'm getting some sleep"  
Then he slept a scant 25 minutes later, future embarrassment lullabying him to sleep

Heh, Perfect

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Dark.. too dark...

What the hell!? My mind caught up quickly and I tried to sit up in my bed before I realized I lacked a body. 

What. The. Hell.

'Heh, no need to say it twice, kid'

Thefucksthat--

'Hey no, I'd prefer you wouldn't call me 'that''

"What the hell's going on, and who are you? Look man I've got nothing to offer you. Seriously." I looked around blindly before realizing its futile.

'Heh, true it is futile. Anyway, let's get down to business, kid'  
Another shadow settled infront of me in the infinite darkness if that made sense and then it spoke

'Nah, kid. Makes no sense.'

'Anyway, I'm here to give you an offer

"Offer what do---" I felt an icy grip on my mind that squeezed until I couldn't even think straight. What was he doing to m--

'No interrupting, kid. This is exposition time and I'm sure no one needs you fuckin' it up.'

"Wh--"

'Here's the deal. I send you to a whole new world out there, though you'll be quite familiar with it if I asessed you right. I'll give ya the whole shebang, a new body, some cash monies, clothes and a fake...history, I guess.'

"Wh---"

'And you'll do me a favour, right? Cuz of the generosity. Heh, 'generosity''

"Wh---"

'And that little favor'd be fightin' the strongest that worlds gotta offer, you followin' kid?'

"Wh---"

'Good, good. And now here's the best part. That world? Its your favorite! Kinda. Well, just imagine its a parallel universe with a mishmash of shit from any dimension you've probably read.'

"Wh---"

'I'll be sendin' you to the, wait for it, you'll be headin to the, drumroll pleaaase, the D-d-d-cccccc-Marvel Universe! Ha, almost gotcha didn't I? Now whatcha gotta say bout it, heh?-

"What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkk"

'Strained sigh. So very strained sigh. C'mon kid, thats the double-u-aytch question buggin' you? I spelt everything out. Y'know in shorter terms here it is

You're a fuckin' SI! S-e-l-f I-n-s-e-r-t'

...

"Are you fucking kidding me? What's happening to my original body right now?"

'Ah well... rip?'

 

Shoud've gotten the fucking Diet Coke


End file.
